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Well, it seems like those aforementioned finance types can afford me after all. So I'll be back down there come the 10th, now for three days a week instead of just two. Monday to Wednesday, which means practically halving my weekends every week because I will have to drive down there every Sunday.

But get this: no more B&B (in theory anyway) because the company will be renting a house down there instead. Freaky, for more than one reason. I should be able to make it Tuesday to Thursday some weeks, though, if I have something to do on a Sunday.

What fun.

I almost forgot: because of the no-work-to-do thing just at the moment, I have next week off. Lovely.

"Finance is the art of passing currency from hand to hand until it finally disappears." - Robert W. Sarnoff

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Freaky Friday Five, but no Jodie Foster in sight.

1. What was your first Halloween costume?

You know, I've never worn one. I could always use the old Wednesday Addams idea of going as a serial killer and dressing normally as they look like everyone else, but that's a bit predictable, isn't it?

2. What was your best costume and why?

Uh, well, see above.

3. Did you ever play a trick on someone who didn't give you a treat?

I've never done Trick Or Treat. That stupidity has only slunk into the UK in recent years, so I "missed out". Yeah, right.

4. Do you have any Halloween traditions? (ie: Family pumpkin carving, special dinner before trick or treating, etc.)

Never have. Most Halloween stuff these days is pure profit for the people who make and sell it. Like Mother's Day, and Father's Day. And soon, apparently, Grandparent's and Boss' Day. Will the greed of the greeting card manufacturers never end?

5. Share your favorite scary story...real or legend!

I don't know any.



Oh, and with regards to the motorbike, they came and got it, leaving us with a bottle of red wine as compensation. Unfortunately, I don't like wine. Is a Yamaha DragStar a good bike? It was big and siny, that's all I know. And, as I predicted, they arrived just as Buffy came on. Typical.

[insert "Evil Laugh #23" here]

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Had a bit of a drama at mine last night.

To explain, firstly: I live out in the middle of nowhere, nearest neighbour is about four hundred yards down the road and we're surounded by fields. Sometimes our nearest neighbour is the nearest cow to the house in the field behind us; sometimes it's the pile of pig shit in the field across the road; in winter it's either the snowdrift across the road or the driver of a car stuck in said drift.

In other words, middle of nowhere, nothing much happens.

Last night someone came off their motorbike just beside the house. They were okay, walking (well, staggering) around. For some reason, the guy's parents were there in their car. Had they been following him, or had he called them? No idea. Anyway, they knocked on the door because apparently there was a cow loose on one of the back roads. Not sure if that had anything to do with the bike going off. They wanted to know which farm might own said cow. I had no idea.

But now, we have a motorbike lodging in our garage, till they come to get it this evening. And the police came round to look at it too, all this at about eleven p.m.

It was bloody freezing!!

With regards to work, I'm currently waiting for the finance types in Andover to decide if they can afford me. Since the IT department is understaffed with the three contractors (including me) who are running it right now, knocking it down to two could be a disaster. They need more, not less.

Ah well. it'll be a holiday, of sorts. Except... I now seem to be in charge of figuring out how to use Sage. All I know is it's a very popular accounting program. I'm supposed to sit down and play with it to get it working properly. What fun.

"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting." - David Letterman (1947 - )

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Dear Universe...

Give Jen a break, motherfucker.

Bite me.

Yours with venom,

   MT Hed

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Another Haiku

When I hear no word
I imagine disaster
and hope for good news

I guess I'm on a roll. Or a baguette.

"It is easier to write an indifferent poem than to understand a good one." - Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)

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Once Again, No Friday Five, So...

Instead, a haiku.

My days are empty
No rhyme or reason I find
Without thoughts of you

I'm sure this breaks hundreds of haiku rules, but it's my first one, so tough. And don't ask me why. I either don't know or I won't tell you.

"All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling." - Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

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HEADLINE: Five Things For Friday Five Shocker!

1. Name five things in your refrigerator.

Cheese, margarine, tasty wafer thin ham, mustard and beer. No surprises there, eh?

2. Name five things in your freezer.

Pizza, bread, milk, microwave meals and mice meat. Yummy.

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink.

Water from dripping pipes, window cleaning spray, dishwasher tablets, floor cloth and fly swatter. Mess, clean, kill.

4. Name five things around your computer.

DVD-type game cases, lots of soundtrack CDs, coffee mug, printed out Amazon order receipts and a small plastic dolphin on the top of my monitor. No, I don't know why it's there, it just is.

5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet.

If all the medicine cabinet type stuff was actually in a medicine cabinet: plasters, paracetamols, ibuprofen, Alka Seltza and Savlon.

"Urgh, Savlon! I'm coming over all... Channel 4! [strangling sounds, falls off screen, appears in news studio in bad wig] Good evening I’m Zeinab Badawi and here is the news." - Harry Hill (has to be seen to be, well, seen, really, but certainly not believed)

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Twenty Days Of Hell

So, the company is moving offices. Seems the Secret Director Guy wants to use the hotel room we've been using, so we're shifting out to a shop he owns on the other side of The City In Question. Most of the stuff's gone already, just the tables and the computers that actually get used are left. Only problem is, the last thing to be done is moving the company broadband to the new number.

Which means that for twenty days we'll have no broadband, just nasty ole dial-up.

No more listening to the radio online. No more staying on perpetually to keep an eye on the company e-mail and on my own various e-mails and other important sites. Just the occasional dial-in to check stuff, and not for very long because of the bill. And I hope that there's nothing important (and large) that I need to download any time soon, cos it's gonna take something like twenty days before we get the broadband back.

That sucks.

Bummer.

"A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body." - Unknown

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Regarding The Friday Five...

It's all about sports this week. And as I recently said somewhere else, "don't play, don't watch, don't care." So no question answering from me this week.

Otherwise... Nothing. The usual driving-working-dull stuff. I'm feeling much like the most un-sharpest knife in the draw just now. Which is definitely because of [EDITED].

"Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor." - Elizabeth I (1533 - 1603), in Francis Bacon, Apophthegms, 1625

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Yeah, it's a day late, so we'll just call this the Saturday (Friday) Five, shall we?

1. What vehicle do you drive?

A Ford Puma Black, Y reg. Black. Black leather seats. Air con. Nice.

2. How long have you had it?

Thirteen months, just over.

3. What is the coolest feature on your vehicle?

Coolest? The air con. No, seriously. Puns aside, I'd have died this summer without it.

4. What is the most annoying thing about your vehicle?

It keeps getting scratched either from people scraping past me when reversing or me clipping a hedge at the B&B in Andover.

5. If money were no object, what vehicle would you be driving right now?

Moya. Or a Prowler. But if you want to be realistic... Umm... Some other car. Not sure what. Something that looks fairly ordinary but kicks ass engine-wise.

"Fast. Cheap. Efficient. Pick two." - The Truth About Vehicles

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Personality Test

The test at The Spark says this about me:

Like just 10% of the population you are a HELPER WHO FINDS MISSING CHILDREN OVER THE INTERNET (SICF). You are very tentative in the world and introverted with people--which means you are the shy and silent type. Hence the Internet. But behind your reserved exterior lies a dedicated person with a passion for the concrete truth who wants to, in his heart of hearts, help find missing children. God bless you.



Another sadly revealing insight. Except maybe about the children bit. Bit dull, though, isn't it? I'd rather be like Phoe and be a mastermind.

"Dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way." - Jules, Pulp Fiction (which I've used before but who cares?)

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We Want Your Soul

Your soul is worth £41,727. For your peace of mind, 17% of people have a purer soul than you.



How disturbing. I thought it would be worth much less.

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." - George Carlin (1937 - )

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